his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
