Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
