Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
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