We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
