So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
