Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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