take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
