i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
