are you so shy because you have an std?
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
