Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
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