College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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