This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
