This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
