I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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