She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
