We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
