every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
