My hair reeks of homosexuality.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
