and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
