I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
