I'm jealous of your bromance
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
