You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize