she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Randomize
