ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Randomize
