i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
