I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
