I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
