so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
