My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
