I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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