no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize