Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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