dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I think your dad took our porno
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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