its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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