are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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