So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Do vagina's smell?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
We're too hungover to prance.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
