Just fell off a train. Bad.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
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