return my video game
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
