Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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