Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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