we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
