I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
