I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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