I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
