no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize