I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
