why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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