Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
