Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
