dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
