Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
