After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
