I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize