i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
